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Zombie Survival Instructions

September 2, 2010


September 2, 2010

Well, it seems that Manbearpig (Al Gore), and his enviro-cronies are up a dirty polluted creek again, without a paddle. All they have is a case of white guilt that has not expired yet, and some patchouli oil for those ‘not so fresh feelings.’ That is a nice way to say, ‘when their asses smell like a cat food/tuna cannery on garbage day.’ I digress. Anyway, Manbearpig…

Manbearpig! (From 'South Park' (2006))

has had a rough year personally. He is getting divorced, his kid is a pot head, and he has been accused of getting some happy endings from girls in hotels. Well, I guess he saw that his old boss could get away with it, so what the hell.

You know his proverbial iceberg is melting when even the New York Post writes an article against the sweet heart of big government liberalism. Here is their new article titled, “Meltdown of the climate ‘consensus.'”

This week, one of his ‘eco-terrorists’ took hostages at the Discovery Channel building because he was, “awakened” by Al Gore’s mock-umentary, An Inconvenient Truth. Here is a good article on the eco-fanatic,  James Lee.

What would you like to bet that if that guy was white, and had listened to talk radio? It would be plastered on the news 24/7 for months! But, since he is Asian, and a lefty, we will have forgotten about this incident (thanks to the press) within weeks. Remember that guy that ran his plane into the IRS building? No? That is because he was a lefty, and the press ignored the story after they found out he was not a fan of Glenn Beck or Limbaugh. Remember when Nancy Pelosi was worried about right-wing fanatics coming out of the wood work and she cried crocodile tears like the sick, politician beeatch that she is? Well, look who all of the ‘fanatics’ have been lately. But, this is not new; remember that they were the ones blowing shit up in the 60’s as well. Just look at one of BHO’s buddies, who grew up to indoctrinate kids for a living in Chicago.

You cannot imagine how long it took me to catch old ‘rotten crotch’ here next to me (Thomas Paine’s zombie) up on what has been happening for the last 200 years, since he unwrapped himself of his mortal coil. He has had a little too much wine tonight, so all I understood was “big government bad” and he wanted to know the names of the hotels where Manbearpig was staying. Hey, 200 years on ice does things to a guy.

Well, apparently the “debate is over.” Literally. James Cameron (enviro-nazi extraordinaire, and guinea pig wrangler), asked for a debate whether ‘climate change’ was a real scientific fact or not, and when some skeptics of climate-change gave him what he wanted, he started to retreat. First, there were no cameras allowed (which is weird for a Hollywood guy), and kept making outrageous demands (which were all accepted), until he finally “pulled out” at the last second. Click HERE for the complete details. Al Gore will not debate either. That is strange since their theories are based on “science,” right? They should have oodles and oodles of evidence to show those knuckle-dragging, cousin humping, climate deniers, right? Wrong! Now, all of their evidence seems to be based on false studies that are proving the opposite to be true. Remember climate-gate? That was only the ‘tip of the iceberg.’ Man, I like puns!

Does this mean the stupid polar bears are going to live now? That sucks. I soooo wanted a pair of polar bear boots, with a matching coat. Hey, if they are going to die anyway, I might as well rent a helicopter with a 20 mm M61 Vulcan aircraft cannon and get ready for the Fall fashions, right? Tom agrees.

Stupid Polar Bears! See, they are bad for national defense. They are attacking a US Submarine! Commie polar bears!

Another little fact that you may not know. Manbearpigs documentary, which US teachers regularly show to their little leftist lemmings in training, has gone to court in the UK. Why? Scientific fraud, that is why. A man named Lord Monckton, who sounds like a Monty Python character, took Manbearpigs film to court. There were 35 fatal flaws in Gore’s movie according to Monckton. Monckton even invited Gore to debate. Guess what his rotundity did? That is right, he declined. Well, the court finally decided on 11 fatal flaws in the movie (not the 35 that Monckton claimed), but it is now illegal to show the Al Gore film in British school, without a counter-point argument, and without telling the children the 11 scientific flaws in the film before they watch it. If you are an American, you have probably never even heard of this lawsuit. Why? Do you think the media wants you to know that one of their heroes is a phony? Well, if you don’t believe me, here is the link.

When I was a kid, the teachers in school told me that there was a new ice age approaching. Now, only 30 years later, we are going to boil in lakes of fire and puss because we are evil capitalists. This whole argument has nothing to do with science, it has to do with money. Enviro-nazis are no better than Muslim extremists in my book. They both want us to live like we were in the 1oth century again. With cap and tax, and other laws they are putting into place to take our hard earned money, and lowering our standard of living. I am all for clean rivers, and lakes like the next guy. But I should not be forced to follow some law or pay some draconian tax that is based on a fallacy of pseudo-science. Tom is asleep. I didn’t know that zombies had to sleep. I guess Manbearpig will do that to anyone.

John Cusack Loves Satan

September 1, 2010

Actor, John Cusack, tweeted the “Satanic death” of the GOP, FOX news, and Dick Armey. For the full article, click here. This was a stretch to explain to Tom, since actors in his day were “charlatans and prostitutes” (according to him). Then I had to explain that actors today are still empty heads, but they are paid much better, since they are on TV and movies. Which, I had to explain what those were to him. Then, he mused why Americans would care what trained bears, one-trick ponies, and over-sexed adolescents with vacuous heads would think, and I had no real answer for him. What do you think? I still think Dick Armey is the best name ever. It sounds like the title of a 70’s gay porno. On a side note, if Satan is against FOX, the GOP, etc…does that mean they are on the side of God? That is not a bad thing the last time I checked.

Apparently, Satan, who is still sulking over his break up with Saddam Hussein, is plotting the death of the GOP, FOX, and a guy with the hilarious name...Dick Armey.

Thomas Paine’s Short Bio

August 31, 2010

If you have been the victim of government education, then you may be asking yourself…”who in the hell is Thomas Paine.” Well, I will do my best to explain who Mr. Paine was, while he still had a heartbeat. I do not want to talk too much about the zombie, since he is sitting right next to me. I will only tell you that he needs some deodorant.

Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

Thomas Paine was born in England in the county of Norfolk in the year 1737. Thomas moved to the American colonies in the year 1774 and participated in the American Revolution. Mr. Paine learned a trade as a corset maker (also known as a stay-maker), but later held many jobs from privateer, a school teacher in London, and a minister in the Church of England.

Mr. Paine became a friend of Benjamin Franklin while he was in London, and Franklin told Paine he should move to the American colonies for a fresh start. Mr. Paine barely survived the voyage, but arrived in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with a letter of recommendation from Franklin.

Paine became famous for his revolutionary pamphlet, Common Sense (1776). Some call Paine the “father of the American Revolution,” but there is debate on that title within the community of historians. Paine’s pamphlet sold over 100,000 copies in the American colonies. That does not sound like a lot of copies sold compared to today’s standards, but you have to remember that there were only 2 million people living in the American colonies at the time.

Paine remained an important figure in the American Revolution, and later played a part in the French Revolution as well. Paine lived a long and interesting life, and I will tell you stories from his life, mixed in with his views of modern politics. Thank you for reading.

-Cotton Mather